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Zachary's New york pizza and Ipecac Cocktail pickel:

by Jane
(Hayward, CA)

There was this time in my life when myself and my former, long term boyfriend would go out weekly for NY style pizza. It was all in good fun, but I always found myself going into, "The zone" whenever I went there to eat, and always spacing out on these dates and eating way to much delish NY pizza with my boyfriend. Then, when I arrived home I would have a stash of Emetic which I would convert into a little,"After Dinner Cocktail." Then about 10 minutes later I would feel as sick as a "Dog with the worst case of the flu."

Only, I didn't have the flu I had a secret way of eating all the NY pizza that I desired, and not gaining any weight,or tummy distention either. I was in, "Total Control" of my weight, and had a secret that I couldn't share with the normal population.

I actually had learned about this rescue method, for over eaters, from my last 2 years in college, majoring in psychology too.

I was so sick of tests and job interviews that this behavior just kind of seemed to be like getting a rough massage that later made one feel relieved. Then my teeth became really sensitive to cold weather, and when I visited my dentist he said that I needed ALL my teeth sealed because I had loads of pits and fissures just waiting to turn into ripe cavities.

He said if I brushed well, daily my enamel should re-mineralize. However, my habit unfortunately also included eating late night snacks like fresh baked goodies, and Hershey Bar Smores. Thus, this went on for years.

The next time I went to the dentist I had loads of cavities on the biting surfaces of my big , formerly beautiful, white molars. I was unfortunately on a budget and had to get a mouthful of ugly silver-mercury containing fillings. My body was also sensitive to mercurey, which led to even more bizarre behaviors and took years of re-training to unlearn the bad behaviors.

Eventually, I was able to have most of the ugly silver fillings replaced with beautiful white filling material. Oh gosh was I ever relieved. Without all that silver and mercury in my mouth I actually felt physically healthier too. Unfortunately they cost a lot of money to replace old fillings, and I had to be extra careful about my eating habits, for I was a bit skeptical of having to endure any further dental treatment.

I also was in need of re-alignment of my teeth from all the rough treatment on my teeth over the years by eating such tough and chewy foods. However, I didn't have the funds for braces after paying for all the basic white restoration fillings that were first needed so badly.

So, now I'm really careful about what I eat, and even of how I chew on foods. I floss weekly, and brush at least once a day. Before, it was hardly at all, since I couldn't concentrate on most things very well, especially taking care of a full mouth of teeth.

All in all, my weight is still a bit on the heavy side, I still eat snacks occasionally, but I work out at a gym almost daily, and eat at least 3 meals a day, and hardly ever eat pizza any more.

Pizza was my trigger food that led me down the wrong road, and wasn't there when I really needed substantially healthy food.

My ex and I also stopped seeing each other, I moved to a totally different town, and had to start living my life for myself, and not eating foods just to be nice to my dates, or to convenience a friend by eating to make them feel OK.

Now, I am older and have some real responsibilities, and am usually quite busy, and not Bulimic. I encounter stress sometimes, but after I moved home I immersed myself in years of therapy. I was involved in support groups, and then in intensive therapy for about 3 years straight.

I went on a diet after re-gaining as I aged, and lost X lbs from hard work, and the assistance of a dietician. I re-gained X pounds which keep me motivated in going to my gym almost daily, after dinner, and the control over my meals, and desserts is much better, as am I.


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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program