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Why me? Rachels bulimia story age 13

by Rach

Hey guys my names Rachael and I'm 13 years old and I have a bulimic problem. I thought this would solve everything...

I try to go a day with no eating, after everything I eat I go take a shower, I come out and I throw up EVERYTHING. I do it when people are home, when I'm alone, anytime I can.

I've told my closest friends about this and they tell me I need to stop right now and I know they're right but I can't seem to stop. I started back in November and over time I've learned how to do it more and more.

When I eat so much that I can't breathe and then throw it up it makes me feel better. Actually proud that I've acomplished something. I eat at night so late and I regret it evertime...

Everyone tells ne Im so skiny but i don't believe them. I want therapy but how would i ask my mom for that? Shes already in debt from my sisters college. I just cant ask for more.

I have problems everywhere I turn. And my parents don't help when they tell me I'm so fat. I legit feel the need to go to fat camp. Who thinks like that??

This is so hard.

And I hate working out because it always hurts after...

Guess I'm stuck with this disease huh? I'm ok with that...

I just don't want this to hurt me too much... But I honestly think to myself sometimes "I want to go to the hospital, I want people to worry about me, I want them to feel my pain. I want them to see what I'm going through. I want my friend to feel bad she left me. And I want this guy as my boyfriend. I can't handle this" but once I get home I just eat eat and eat...

I'm only 13, why do I feel like this?

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