Why I've been hiding
I feel like everything else in my life is out of control and the only thing I can control is my eating, but I can't not eat and then I feel so guilty when I have that I just have to purge. I feel really scared about how it has taken over my life and how alone I feel. I can't tell my mom as I did when I was self harming several years ago and she had a genuine nervous breakdown and that made me feel so guilty and like I messed up my family as well as my own life and so I turned to b/p as a way of punishing myself and gaining control. I'm scared of telling anyone face to face and what they will think of me if I do but I also feel I need some support and can't recover on my own.
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