When to start bulimia recovery again?
How are you? Must must be very busy around Christmas as all angels are :)
I am doing a little better in my life, trying to become more stable and it is slowly working. The part with my health is not so shiny tho...
I had those 18 days free and now it's about 3 weeks I am back to my bulimia behavior.
Some days are very bad. I feel in my mind I am not so addicted as before, but I still can't handle more than a day without b/p.
I really want to start again the withdrawal from binging and purging. I have not stopped working on my mind and trying to understand myself, but as you know the mind is never clear when there is binge and purge crisis.
My question now is how to decide when to start the bulimia recovery again. Because I have noticed I decide to do it now, or tomorrow and it works for a few hours, but then I feel I was not ready and I rushed things and go back to binging and purging. And that is not helping coz although I try not to, I blame myself for making decisions I do not keep.
Tomorrow I am moving to my new room. And there is a lot happening in the university, but actually studying is helping me feel better. So I am just about to start recovery again. I feel that I want to - but just I am not sure when - when I will feel enough into it.
What would you advise me?
Should I state a date to end b/p or just wait for the moment.. and not be too harsh on myself. Like the moment I went 18 days free I did not have a single free day for months and the moment just came to me.
Thanks in advance!
Good to hear from you again - I was just thinking about you yesterday!
I'm glad to hear that you're feeling like things are going a little better :) That's awesome!
Don't panic that your binging and purging isn't improved - I worked on my mental health for many months before kicking the bingeing and purging! The fact that you have gone 18 days is brilliant - and I know you can and will beat that when the time is right.
I think it's hard to put a date onto when you want to stop binging and purging... It creates too much pressure and it puts all the focus on NOT bingeing and purging rather than eating healthily and being happy.
What I would suggest rather is that you start adding little steps into your everyday life that will help build you up to full recovery.
Start eating a healthy breakfast every day that you keep down. Whatever you do for the rest of the day just allow it to happen... But focus on that breakfast and succeeding on this little challenge.
Introduce 10 minute slots into each and every day where you take time out to focus on yourself. To relax and breathe deeply. Listen to happy music and think about all the good things in your life...
Always have one book on the go which is focused on positivity / self-help / feeling good / bulimia recovery... Click here to read my review of a bulimia self help book that I think every bulimic should read!
I'll eventually get round to making a page on my site with lots of books I recommend - but I have to read them first to make sure they're good... So this will take a little time.
The 3 little things above will be FANTASTIC stepping stones in your recovery.
I think it's important to remember that bulimia is a disorder of your mind... The bingeing and purging is just a side effect of disordered feelings, emotions and self-esteem.
Doing little things each day - like the steps above - will help you to re-wire your brain on a sun conscious level. This will help free it from the negative emotions that make you binging and purge...
You're doing well Ji - i can see it from the outside - so you just need to believe in yourself!
Stay strong and looking forward to hearing from you again and seeing if you try out those steps :)