Was getting to the worst point.... Eugenes bulimia miracle
It's Eugene if you'd remember me =)
Just wanted to say it's gone really bad and I ended up droping down to 43kg... I used to be 52 or so... I felt so shamed and pointless in everyday life... because of the lack of energy I had. School wasn't as fun as it used to be... I couldn't concentrate or bother to do my homework (which was really damaging). I felt like I was naked infront of everybody, even though they didn't know a thing about me...
I came to the point where vomiting was a piece of cake. I could do it without putting any fingers down my throat... That was one of the main reasons why it was such a strong addiction... I could eat whatever I wanted and it's so easy to be thin... however as sweet it sounds (at least to me) it's so damaging...
I remember like last week I sat in the shower and cried because of the hair loss I was going through due to the lack of nutrients I've been getting... I felt so depressed and unmotivated
A little miracle happened tonight =) my parents know about this so I recently started therapy =) but even so I was deceiving my parents and helpers around me... but this night I wanted the first step to be taken... I confessed to my mom and God (Yes! I'm a christian!) we talked about it for hours trying to figure out the source of why I was having such low self-esteem... and we prayed and prayed... then I don't know if this might sound weird and cult like (but I have faith in Jesus =)) as we were praying, my mouth opened (by its self and it opened huge) and I felt something was being pushed outside my stomach (it wasn't food, no liquid and nothing like that.)
It was an unusual experience... but at the end of our prayer unexplainable calmness was upon me... Just amazing... This is the turning point... I want to know that i'm not worthless, that i'm precious and honored in his sight... I want to be Eugene =)
so... =) that was what recently happened =P I have few bulimia questions I'd like to know...
How long would it take to regain strength and be healthy again?
How can I combine exercise with my recovery
What's with bulimia bloating I hear now and then?
Thanks a ton God bless!
A Response From Shaye
Yes - I remember the story you posted to my site! Good to hear form you again!
That experience you just shared is so exciting!! And, no it doesn't sound cult like... It sounds wonderful!
I had a friend who had a similar experience... She suffered from bulimia, alcohol addiction, OCD and a number of other problems... Her life was falling apart and she was on a mission of self-destruction... Then she got back into her church and one day when they were praying she collapsed and said she felt something being released from her...
Afterwards she said she felt peaceful like she hadn't felt in many years...
Her disorders didn't disappear overnight - but they got progressively better - and today you would never know that she had suffered like that in the past. She is a healthy, happy and beautiful woman!
The moral from that for me was - never underestimate the power of believing in something... be it God, The universe, goodness and so on...
I'm really so happy to hear that you are positive about the future after that experience... :) Keep praying and reminding yourself of your blessings and all the good things in your life!
How long does it take to regain strength after bulimia... Well, this is different for everyone. For me - it was a matter of a few months before I began to feel really good. But... everyday into recovery you feel stronger, happier and more capable :) Remember that your body needs some energy stores (fat) to give you energy - so as you lit to your natural and healthy weight your energy will return. Remember to focus on being happy and positive - not the numbers on the scale! In fact - I think all bulimics should throw their scales away - they are so dangerous!
You question about how much exercise to do during bulimia recovery... That is also different for everyone... But in your case - I think you shouldn't do exercise with a focus on the actual 'exercise'... Focus on doing active things that you enjoy - this will be healthy for your body and mind. In my case - during recovery I loved doing weights and going for walks/hikes in the forest and nature. I hated running - so I didn't do it! I wanted to 'exercise' in a way that made me feel alive and invigorated!
And your question about bulimia bloating... Well... This is an uncomfortable condition that lots of people recovering from bulimia get. It results from your tummy not being used to digesting food. You also get it because bulimia kills so much of the healthy bacteria in your gut. It can be quiet annoying - but it is temporary... mine lasted for a few months - but it got better and better :)
I hope that I've covered everything! If you have any other questions - just ask on my questions page :)
Keep up your good work Eugene - you're doing great things for your bulimia recovery... Opening up to your parents and god... talking about your bulimia... Sharing your stories... and trying to learn ways to make the recovery easier... Good work!
Take care and no doubt I will hear from you again :)
Stay Strong and God Bless!