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very sad

by Kathy

I don't really feel like sharing my embarrassing stories I'm more concerned with my mental state and that i feel so depressed. I have had a fair amount of victory over the years but never full and now because of an enormous amount of stress in my life I don't seem to want to fight it. I'm sick of always being depressed or stressed about something and I think that the way I process things has a lot to do with why I seem to need to get this relief. I am 53 years old I have been married for 30 years have 3 children and One son-in-law and 3 grandchildren. I never remember not being stressed about something even as a child and very bad in high school I started throwing up because I ate too much and was upset so my sis told me to stick my finger down my throat and that started me on this course I had it really bad in my mind any way not maybe as bad as some but it was at the point I would rather be alone to eat and throw up than do things with others that went on for ten years and through having two children and then I got some measure of control through trusting in God to work things out. Still have been plagued off and on and the last while I don't want to do anything accept what I have to do. I feel attacked and don't know if I need medical help or counselling help, I am very sad.

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