Today i decided
(Tarragona , Spain )
I'm bulimic, this was my first step yesterday to admit that i'm really ill and i need help.
Just today i started seriously searching for solutions to this illness. I really need to set my self free, it has been almost 4 years of suffering with this nasty disease and everyday I'm telling myself it is okay i'm just a person who likes food... But noooooo ,, not anymore , i do not want my life to be about how to get food..
now it is all what am thinking about, even sometimes i try to wake up late cause i do not want to think about food anymore!
I am an Engineer from Egypt, but now living in Spain, I've started of course to binge to lose weight as i was way overweight. I've been through a major weakness when my weight loss passed the limits and i was underweight for a while then i started to let some food to stay in my stomach.
Just to be a life everyday there is a reason to continue doing this , but now am done - i feel am trapped i can not think about my carer anymore
all what i think about is food !!!!!!!
Now i really hate myself, i always did before because i was fat!! But now i really do not care anymore, i just need to be normal, i do not want to be embarrassed in front of people when i eat more !
i became more isolated , i hate eating with people ,, i hate my self after eating
Today i've decided to become a new person!
no way to be back even if took me years to recover - I am on it
Thanx for making this nice place to share our stories - i hope more and more people can participate.
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