To Someone Who Cares
I am a seventeen year old senior that has recently fallen into binging and purging. Why? Because everything else in my life is ridiculous. My sister and her soon to be ex-husband dumped their five year old son at my families house about a year ago because of their drug problems, and since then nothing has been the same. I used to get migraines that lasted weeks at a time, so I missed half of my school year due to them, because of a diet and exercise change I stopped having them and lost nearly fifty pounds. That started in March, but the bulimia didn't start until September. I choose not to eat things that are bad for me on a regular basis, and for a while I was eating as little as I could without being questioned. My mother and father are too distracted by the little one and trying to make my sister realize what she is still doing, so I am pretty much on my own. Food and eating are the main things my thoughts revolve around now. My father has always had a weight problem, and now with a child in the house, there are always tons of snacks and junk food at my disposal. Fighting the urge to eat four granola bars or three sandwiches at a time is what I find myself doing all the time now. I know that it's bad, and the first couple times I did it I figured that it wouldn't become a regular thing. It has, but no one has questioned me, and now I feel like it needs to stop. I don't have anyone to tell this to, because I don't have any close friends anymore, they've all decided that drugs were more important than a friendship, so those ships have sailed. I am scared to tell my parents because they think I'm the only one they don't have to worry about, and if I do tell them I will become the focus of concern. I don't like attention and I don't want them to worry, but I know I need to change and I can't do that on my own.
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