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This isnt what I signed up for.

by Jenna
(United States)

I have been a track and cross country addict for 5 years. As a runner I have always tried to find ways to become faster and faster. Sophomore year in high school I got my 5k down to 19 minutes. I soon connected this success to my weight loss since freshman year. Skinny=fast...or so I thought. The end of sophomore cross country came, and so did a dissapointing race. I assumed I just needed to lose more weight. My months of anorexia were not helping fast enough. In november 2010, I purged for the first time. As a senior, the past 2 years are filled with horrible bulimia moments. It has taken over my life. I have become a slave to it. Junior year was the worst. For a few months I was finally happy. I was down to X pounds-the perfection of skinny. That year I passed out in school and after almost every race. I didnt ever think this disease could kill me! I have not had an injury free season, yet I have signed with a college team. I am seeing a counselor and making very slow progress, but getting rid of this horrible sickness seems near impossible. This isnt what I signed up for. This needs to end for good.

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