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this is the first time I have ever opened up and I am doing it online

by lotty
(england)

Am 17 I am a dancer I dance all the time and I am on the go all the time my bulimia started at the end of 2011 I didn't tell anyone about it and nobody still knows.I even feel that ashamed and I don't want anyone to know who I am that I have to put a fake name on this.

At the start of 2012 I stopped throwing up but then I was in dance one night and I had to try a skirt on for my show and it didn't fit me I felt so ashamed I went home and cried I was the only one that would fit into the skirt.

When I was 7 some of my family use to always comment on my weight and skit me yes my own family I got very upset and use to cry infront of them and they would feel really sorry they thought that commenting on me weight wouldn't upset me but it did.

When I was in dance once I felt like my teacher was laughing at me about my weight I feel that everyone does tha I mean am not fat but am not thin.

So I thought the only thing that is going to get me skinny is to throw up so I did and I done it for ages and ages and I went to a party and my dance teacher said have you been on a diet and I said no and she said you have I said I haven't and she said you look lovely and that made me really happy and thought oh god am gonna have to throw up all the time so I did and because I was doing it that much I started to get pain in my belly like I had done 2000 sit ups but everyone was commenting on my weight saying I look fab and they still comment on it now. But the thing is I have tried to tell my family that am bulimic and they don't believe me I really need there support and they just think its attention but its really not I hate throwing up but its the only way to control my weight I feel like am always going to be bulimic because no body believes me and I am very upset and stressed with it :( like I am a dramaqueen but I am telling the truth I throw up like 10 times a day please help

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program