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Therapy? Is it just me or?

by Em
(Denmark)

Hi Shaye, and everyone else on here :)

So I have already posted on your website a couple of times before, anyway I've had Bulimia for 2-3 years now and the thing is that I just started seeing a therapist on April 26th. I've seen her 2 times so far, and I'm not really feeling it...

She is fairly old, approximately 65 I would say, which so of makes it even harder for me to "bond" with her or share things with her, because I feel like she is too old to get where I'm coming from.

Well my first session went ok, we just talked, or no I talked for like an hour, she didn't really say anything, only asked a couple of questions, nothing helpfull.

I felt like I went on and on about about my family and stuff and didn't really get any response, and she didn't really give me any advise on how to avoid binging and purging.

Then 2 weeks later I had my second session. First she asked me what I had been doing that day, so I answered, I talked a little about what I had been doing during the week, then I didn't know what more to say, and she didn't really say anything either, which made it very awkward, so I told her I had purged three times since I last saw her, then again she just smiled, and it was really awkward, so I, in order to break the silence, tried to analyze why I had b/p, she just sat there, she didn't (as I had expected) aksed me "so how did you feel in that moment" or "why did you do it", no it was just me trying to analyze my way through it, only because the silence of her not saying anything was killing me. Then she asked me after a while, after I had talked about how I had started boxing and how happy it made me, and how I had been seeing alot of my friends lately and stuff like that. yeah then she asked me "Em, why are you even here? It doesn't seem like you need it that much, you are happy, you do great" I of course told her, that well it isn't good that I still BP, and 3 times in 2 weeks is more than 0, so it's not acceptable and therefore I go to therapy. Again she just smiled, and took notes on a piece of paper

I had to actually ask her "Well, what do I do, how do I stop?" and she didn't say anything that I couldn't have figured out myself, just said "Oh well, you need to keep busy, maybe you should make a list of things to do whenever you feel the urge" And yes I know that, I already have one... urgh.

I don't know if it's just me who is being sensible, but I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with this, she doesn't give me any real guidelines of what to do and how to handle my everydaylife, and it doesn't seem like she understands me at all, I actually feel that she is somewhat incompetent and a bit slow, I remember I had to explain something about school and how the exams work and had to repeat myself 4 times for her to understand it.

I don't know what to do, I have to see her this Wednesday, but I'm thinking of cancelling and finding a new therapist, I just don't feel like I'm getting anywhere, (and I don't really feel like paying for something that is not working) If anything I've gotten more depressed the two times seeing her, which has caused me to bp even more.

Any thoughts of what to do?

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program