The purge that ruined my homecoming...
(Redding, ca, usa)
When I was a senior in high school I got asked to homecoming by a super cute football player I had a crush on...
The two of us and a large group of friends went out to a nice restaurant before the dance. For dinner I got the works. An appetizer a huge entree and a huge dessert. No one there knew I was binging like usual and planned or purging everything up as soon as my meal was over. Everyone commented and laughed at the fact that such a skinny person could eat so much. They called me a bottomless pit. I laughed along with them to hide the truth behind my actions.
Being with a large group of people made it hard to go to the bathroom alone, since high school girls always feel the need to use the bathroom together.
After eating so much the anxiety of not being able to purge was starting to set in and I felt I had to get that food out of me or I was going to gain so much weight.
Since I couldn't go to the bathroom and puke in secrecy I took some drastic measures. Once we got in the car and started driving to the dance I started to fake feeling nauseous, it wasn't hard to fake, I told everyone I got car sick really easy and they should roll the window down...
A few minutes later I frantically told the driver to pull over I was going to be sick. He stopped and I was let out of the car. I ran behind it so they couldn't tell what I was doing. I purged everything I just ate as fast as I could.
Relief rushed over me. At the same time shame also rushed over me.
When I got back in the car everyone was concerned if I was ok and believed that I really had just gotten sick but were also really grossed out that I had just vomited.
My date ended up thinking it was a better idea if I got taken home since I got sick like that.
I ended up missing the homecoming dance because I couldn't help but binge and purge.
I was so ashamed and disappointed with myself.
When I got home I did what I always did when I was angry with myself. More binging and purging.
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