THE MONSTER WITH IN
Hello , Im 20 years old and I have a 3 year old son and Im going to share my story and hope you all can give me answers to some of my questions .
It all started when I was 16 years old. I was a big kid I weighed around x pounds in the 8th grade (15 years old) at first I was doing everything right I was eating right and running and walking and playing sports . but I got obsessed to it and started to eat less and run and walk more... I lost around x pounds in less than 3 months I went to the doctor and I weighed x pounds. At this time I had never heard of bulimia but my doctor ask my mother if she had notice me throwing up and I overheard and decided "why should I do all this walking and running when I can just throw up?" so I started it when I was about 16. I was always in the kitchen cooking for everyone but I would never really eat I just wanted to be around food 24/7. I finally started going to a doctor about my problem because they wanted me on a feeding tube because I wasn't eating. They thought maybe I had something wrong with my stomach so they put me asleep and checked it and come to find out my stomach was no bigger than a bean. I remember my daddy asking the doctor to weigh me and I heard them say she is x pound and 5'3. When I can back together I decide I needed to get better for my mother and father so I asked for help and they helped me gain about x pounds .. when I was 17 I got pregnant and of course I didn't want to hurt my baby so I stopped throwing up and just blamed my weight on the baby. After I had my son I did ok for about 6months and then it started again I weighed about x before I started throwing up again. Now Im x 5'3 and I walk every day, eat right but still throw up. I don't understand why I do it I dont want to but its like my body makes me. I don't have to put anything down there all I have to do is bend over and it comes out. I dont want to kill my self over this stupid problem I have I want to watch my son grow ...
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