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The mirror.

by Jade

The mirror, my friend. I would smile,
With the Confidence I saw,
Radiance and happiness no one could ignore.

The mirror, my friend, who is this I see?
Looking deep, it was not me.

The mirror, my friend, don't do this to me
as I saw this thing once again.
Fear pain anxiety, my friend, the mirror ignored my plee

I stared and gazed, mirror, is this really me?
This fat, ugly creature staring back at me
Despise and hate, this i've never felt
The anger the disgust I could not dealt.

The thoughts and emotions I thought would subside,
But little did I know.
They grew with me, I lost all control.

That morning I wake up the same robot that I am,
Despising of myself, I eat as little as I can.

Hunger and weakness is what I feel
My friend was not there.
Food, this poison filling my mouth
Swallowing, I can not bare.

Bones protruding I see with glee,
The love of my life would disagree
Beg and plead for me to stop
The purging around the clock

You're perfect to me
He'd say straight to my face.
I knew this was not true,
My friend tells me everyday,
But I will become perfect just for you.

No poison touched my lips for days
The weakness I could bare
I want that perfect figure for you
Yet what I didn't see I was losing you.

Pushing you away I cannot stand
You're my life my world
Realising what this is doing to you
I try and search for any truth

The mirror, my friend? Where are you now?
The fingers down my throat I cannot help
The mirror, my friend? Where are you now?
Me and my body are shutting down.

That mirror is no friend of mine,
That I can now see
Trying to take control,
There is no 'the end' for me.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program