The food high, everyday.
First of all, excuse me for my terrible English, I am from Holland and I'm trying really hard write down what I want to tell you all.
I am bulimic for a couple of years now, during the day I pretty much look at my calories, I try to eat below 900 a day, but by the end of the day ... around 11 at night when my parents are sleeping I sneak into the kitchen.
This happened many times, until I got afraid my mom would see how much food there was missing, so I decided to buy my own binge food, and that's where it all went wrong.
A couple of weeks ago I wrote down everything I ate during my binge ... and I'm ashamed of it, but here it goes.
4 bowls of muesli with alot of milk
6 slices of white bread with cream butter
5 butter cookies
half a jar of nutella
half a jar of peanutbutter
half a block butter
a pizza with hawai topping
2 plates of fries
3 blocks of melted cheese
1 plate with mac and cheesee
All together with I guess ... 3 cans of redbull, 1 bottle of coke, and hot tea.
All this is 2 hours.
I remember I felt so HORRIBLE my back and lungs hurted, I fainted, I tought I would die.
I tried to purge everything , this purging session took me 3 hours. STRAIGHT while sitting on the floor with a trashcan to trow up in.
I never ever want to do this again.
I'm trying hard not to fall back into this. I'm doing pretty well atm, I only have 1 or 2 binges , (small) a week, I'm getting there.
Please never do this, please don't.
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