The Bulimic Guy.
Hi. My name is tony. im 19
So, i have always been a little chubby or fat throughout my childhood and teen years.
I was always being teased (light jokes) with the word "fat" by friends and family throughout time. Even though i laughed it of with them, it always hurts a little inside.
Other than that, I usually didn't care being a little on the heavy side.
One day i realized that i didn't like how my body was looking. so 6 months ago, i started dieting and exercising like crazy... of course i lost much weight and received great compliments.
Dieting and exercising was a part of me having much self control in my life.
One month and a half ago, i lost control of my dieting.
That day i ate quite a bit of fattening junk food. I was panicking. I havent eaten that much unhealthy food since i was overweight.
I didnt know what to do. I felt the food inside me. making me "fat" so i thought.
i threw up the food on purpose.
The same thing hapened the next day. and the next and the next.
The first week i binged, i was in the mindset that i would NOT throw it up.
but of course, that didnt happen.
It started out once a day (binge/purge) and that led to twice to three times a day. depending on what my schedule was from work, school, and social life.
Ive been doing this for almost 2 months now. i thought i could stop whenever i can. (i still tell my self that) but now im realizing that i cant.
I know people have been doing this for years. and i dont want to end up like them and all their short and long term effects.
i know that bulimcs are usually a little overeight. but i havent gained any of the weight i lost. idk why because i know that ure body observes calories and fat as soon as the food goes in.
I havent had any side effects. like weight gain, "chubby cheeks", or iregular heart beet.
The last few days, i have noticed that i have been having chest pains (heart area)
Ive also noticed that it's been geting harder and harder to purge. my gag reflex is like barely there anymore. its kind of anoying.
Actually i think ive lost weight. because people are still complementing how thin i am.
i think it's probably because its only been 2 months.
No one is sopicious because i always turn the tv room volume high. which is next to the house bathroom.
my mum noticed once that i spent to much time in the bathroom.
i just said that i was constipated, haha.
both my parents work when my sister has school. so i have lots of alone time.
Anyways. im sorry this isint a recovery story.
Hopefully ill stop, before Bulimia tottaly takes control over me.
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