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The beginning of my bulimia

by Cvetomira

I want to apologize for my bad english , but when I`m in a hurry up , I never check for mistakes. *Im from Bulgaria.

It happened 2 years ago. Im 21 now , so by the time it happened, I was 19 .
All my life I wasn`t that thin supermodel girl, but I wasnt fat too. I was something in the middle, and I had never felt bad about it.
The problems started when I started my university years. I had to move to the capital and live all alone. I had a few problems in the beginning = I didn't have anywhere to live, because firstly I didn't have the points to live in a hostel. So , I had to be in my grandfather`s sister apartment here. I`m telling you = living with old couple is not easy enough. I suffered the stress of the moving all by myself = I didnt have any friends. I started eating. Eating a lot. Junk food 5 times in a day. After one month I moved to the hostel. I had two roomates. I thought that this will stop me from eating that much , but unfortunately one of my roomates was a big eater. She was eating all day and she was eating without having any problems about that. So .... I continued eating again ... a lot. I reached to X kilograms. After the winter vacation , me and the girls decided to go shopping for new clothes. That was a nightmare. I couldn't fit in anything that I liked. The last jeans I really liked didn't fit too. I looked in the mirror and I said to myself "This must stop NOW".

The next day I started I diet... and as you can think - not that successful. I didn't lose that much weight so I decided not to eat at all. I don't know how did it happen. It was like a dream. I didn't think about food , and I didn't eat after 4 o`clock. I really lost a lot. One day I was so hungry that I eat two plates of salad and I felt pain in my stomach. I decided that may be it will be good for me to throw it up ...and thats the way my story begins. I felt that thats the saving for me = to eat and then to throw it up. I eat everything and then I threw it up.... Im 21 one now = X kilograms and I feel good in my body , but I know I am destroying myself everytime I do this... the worst part is that Im taking laxatives everytime before I go to bed.
I hate myself for that , but I cant stop it. I cant imagine eating pizza and then keep it in myself... I won't continue with my story , because its too painful to write about that problem ...

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