Your bulimia recovery
Tap here to read more about the bulimia recovery program

My online program and private recovery community has helped hundreds of women beat bulimia.
Click here to learn more

Beat bulimia using my online recovery program and private community. Hundreds of women who were just like you have done the same!

Click here to learn more Member Login

That little voice in my head saying you're not good enough

by smg

I just graduated high school from a good public school. I have plenty of friends and i've never been over weight. I played soccer and lacrosse and was captain of my swim team. One of my best friends developed anorexia. I did everything i could to help her and as time went on I became jealous of how skinny she was. Then it almost seemed like everyone was in a competition with each other on who could be the skinniest. Then during the middle of my senior year my family life blew up in smoke. I used to always be the party girl and loved going out and after this i would stay in my house or go out alone because i didn't care to be with anyone. It started off with me getting a gym membership and just being focused on losing weight and being healthy for prom. I would eat about X calories a day and work out for about 2 hours burning anywhere from X calories. I was obsessed and I loved the way my body was looking. Then I cracked. I remember looking in my cabinet and thinking okay ill just have a few crackers and maybe some peanut butter. 2 hours later and the whole box is gone and I'm spooning down peanut butter and i'm still starving! I ate for what it seemed like to be hours not knowing how to control myself and then i felt so guilty I threw up. I thought it was just a gonna be a one time deal. It's been 5 months and I still don't know how to eat right. I'm always bloated and i get really bad chipmunk cheeks and my whole body just feels wider. It's terrible and looking back on pictures of myself I wish i never started any of this I looked great the way i was but now i feel like I'll never look like that again. It's been one of the worst things I've ever experienced. I'm obsessed with food and exercising and now I feel like i can't even go out if I don't exercise. Its killing me I really want out!!! I started recovering for 5 days and I snapped and now I'm back at square one and I'm super depressed.

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.

 

 

Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program