Your bulimia recovery
Tap here to read more about the bulimia recovery program

My online program and private recovery community has helped hundreds of women beat bulimia.
Click here to learn more

Beat bulimia using my online recovery program and private community. Hundreds of women who were just like you have done the same!

Click here to learn more Member Login


by Nicole
(United States)

I have an eating disorder. It's a simple statement, but it took my years to be able to admit. I didn't start out with bulimia. I'm a walking statistic for eating disorders. Not only am I part of the 50 percent of anorexics that develop bulimia, but I'm genetically predisposed, and I've had emotional trauma.

I suppose this all started one summer that my mom got into a bad bike accident. The accident itself wasn't that bad, but it knocked her into a deep depression that left her locked away in her room. I was 13, I was bored, and I felt alone. So I didn't eat. All of my thoughts became focused on my goal "just imagine what people will say when you go back to school...etc." I was never heavy to begin with. In fact, even before I developed my eating disorder people would comment on my thin stature.

Things have changed from that summer though. I no longer starve myself. I eat everything. I eat everything, and block out from my mind all the emotions that I want to avoid. I forget it all, and then I erase it all. It's like I never even ate the food.

I feel so alone. Even typing this I'm alone. I told my boyfriend about my disease and he told me he'd love me no matter what. Why is he so nice to me? I don't deserve him.

I need to get better. I'm afraid of what I'm doing to my body. What if I die? I know I could. I don't want my life to be defined by this eating disorder. I need to get rid of my irrational fear of gaining weight. I need to get rid of my irrational fear of eating larger portions. You want to know what started my binge spree today? I ate more carrots then I felt comfortable with. I'm despicable. I ate everything in my kitchen. I'm disgusting. I'm afraid for my teeth. somebody out there...will this ever end? can I ever be strong enough to beat this?

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.



Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program