Stress, Pressure and a whole lot of binging
I am a 23 year old female and I have been bulimic for about 4 years now. It feels weird to actually say it, although I have known it for quite some time. I have never told anyone my dirty little secret but I remember how it started. I lost alot of weight when I was 19 due to recreational drugs and when I stoped using them the weight and hunger came in ten-fold. I started binge/purging when i still lived at home with my mum and step dad. Around the same time my brother satrted having complications: Aneurism, Cancer, 2 Babies to two mothers and now he is not speaking to half my family (I of course am stuck in the middle of it all). I would promise myself that each time it happened It was my last again and again. I will go weeks without doing it sometimes but it always comes back. Then I would promiss myself that when moved out with my housemate I would stop, because surely she would find out. Nope she didnt and nope i didnt stop. Then we moved again and another girl moved in. THIS TIME I was definitely stopping! That didn't happen either.
Now I am 23 and have a good job, a great boyfriend and am a resonable weight of Xkg (could stand to loose X kilos.)
I find that the binging is out of my control, just like the situation with my brother, but the purging, is in my control puts me back in control of my life.
Help me please! I want to stop. I dont want anyone to find out, especially not my boyfriend, he thinks I am beautiful just as I am!
This is starting to take a toll on me: I have swollen glands, a sore throat, fatigue, heart pulpataions and have started getting acne (which I never had as a teenager!)
Please, any advise or help would be appreciated.
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