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by Nissa Armstrong

i stand in front of the mirror
and wipe the fog away
my vision is still hazy
of why im ridding myself this way

my hair is all in tangles
my eyes are filled with tears
I wipe the warm tears away
as if trying to rid myself of my fears

Im ashamed of what I'm doing
but it hurts me even more
I cant make myself stop doing this
even though i know whats in store

it has taken over my mind
it is eating away at my sole
my throat burns with anger
while my stomach growls even more

I am still looking in the mirror
yet i dont know who i see
all that i know
is this sad sight cant be me

I grip the edge of the counter
so tighty my knuckles turn white
i want to scream out in anger
at this ugly sight

its your fault i hiss
that i somehow do this to myself
If only you didnt look this way
i wood be in better health

i cover the image in the mirror
with the palm of my hand
and notice a cut on my finger
that i never knew i had

i grab my hand in anger
or is it more like fright
im just so shocked
to see this sight

i laugh and then i cry
then crumble to the floor
suddenly aware of my problem
like i never was before

how did this happen to me
how did i become a statistic
i thought that i was strong
i thought i was better than that

my head throbs with anger
my throat burns with pain
and nothing is what i have gained.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program