Strange Bulimia Tricks
I don't want to go into the how or why I've spent 12 years stuck in this illness. At least I'm only 25 and could maybe still have a chance of living a life without it. It's funny, but bulimia is so ingrained into my life and for so long that I cannot remember what life is like without it.
It's so funny how some of my most shameful secrets are shared by so many people out there. I find it so interesting how we all came to exhibit similar behaviour without ever meeting or reading a how-to guide.
My biggest and most shameful signs/tricks are below:
1. Drinking stupid amounts of fluid to flush out food. I do this either when I have to eat out socially or when I'm binging/purging at home. It just really helps get things up.
2. Another of my tricks is opening my car door at traffic lights and vomiting onto the road before driving off. I have to keep telling myself that I will never see the people around me again and they probably assume that I am unwell (physically).
3.Throwing up into carrier bags and containers in my car then dumping them on the side of the road.
4. Why is the wheely bin so heavy? My partner has never to my knowledge figured this one out. The simple answer is that it is full of bags of vomit. Fluid is heavy!
5.Having to choose between living comfortably or buying binge food. At one point I was working 60 hour weeks to support my binge/purge habit. I was binging and purging between 10 and 30 times a day, in work, on the way home, at home. Very pricey.
6. Passing out in public. And all those times your blood pressure drops and you have to hold on to something, and sometimes it's a stranger. So embarrassing.
7. Those horrible grueling 3 hour gym sessions that give you the shakes and reduce your social life to zero. I remember going to the gym and doing 40 mins running, then 1 hour on the cross trainer, then weights then 1 hour cycling 5 nights a week. Having to lie to your friends and miss important stuff like weddings, christenings, 21st parties etc. so you can go to the gym and exercise like mad.
8.Re-eating food. I actually do this. It's probably my most shameful bulimia secret because of how disgusted people would be by it. I do it because it makes me feel like I've eaten more than I have.
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