Spiraling out of control....AGAIN
I just turned 32 years old and have battled bulimia for many many years. I went through rehab for it a few years ago and recieved wonderful treatment. At first I done great but a year after I found myself falling apart slowly. My boyfriend and I broke up whom I had been living with. It was as though my life was flipped upside down and with that I lost control slowly but surely. I have no family except for a beautiful 8 year old daughter. She is amazing and is the only reason I haven't given up completely. I feel selfish and shameful because I have lost control again. My daughter needs me in her life but if I don't get help soon I am afraid. I have no insurance so a treatment center is not an option. I have limited income even though I work 40 hours at a local hospital. I hide my problem from everyone. The doctor I work for, co workers, and friends. I have actually pretty much cut all friends out of my life because I get tired of hiding my problem. I have been having suicidal thoughts but I am terrified to seek help because I don't want to lose my daughter. She is all that I have in this world. I have started having what looks to be blood in my vomit when I purge. I don't know what that means but it scares me. I look normal on the outside and smile but this double life is draining me. Can someone please HELP??
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