Slipped up after 2 days bulimia free
ok, so I blew it...
I did it for 2 days...I can't believe it...binge/purge free for 2 days...I was like yay!!! Then tonight...came home and I had some soup and crackers...well I decided to drink the soupy part first and then eat the veggies inside...Well, I found out this was the worst idea ever...Because my stomach got SOOOOOOOOOOO full from all the liquid that it was begging me to purge...so I did...then I binged...and the cycle continued...damn it.
The only good thing I can think of that came out of this was I know now that I will not drink soup like that...At least right now while im trying to recover.
I'm just really down and wanna cry that I went for 2 whole days and then this happened. Did this happen to you? or did you just quit?
I am going to try to avoid the foods that make me purge so then I wont binge.
And also what advice can you give me about trying not to binge after you purge the meal your supposed to have? Did you ever do this? ugh. I suck.
You definitely don't suck! Try not to be so hard on yourself! In the early days of my recovery if I had gone two days binge/purge free I would have been over the moon! It's a fantastic step forward - don't let yourself forget it...
And, just because you slipped up - doesn't mean you start back from scratch... You simply took a few steps forward and 1/2 a step back. If you learn from this experience - then nothing is lost.
Yes, slip ups did happen in my recovery - I'd be on the right track for most of the day and then slip up... Or, I'd have a week where I felt like I was making good progress, then I'd fall back for a couple of days... This is normal.. Remind yourself that your changing a habit that you have built over a long period of time!
No matter what happens, just remind yourself that you need to pull yourself back onto the recovery path... Yes, it is difficult at time and yes, it can be uncomfortable and scary... but, this is temporary - and recovery is forever!
If it help to think of things in terms of what it is doing to your body... Think of yourself in 30 years time... as a 50-something year old. If you carry on this unhealthy lifestyle, your face will be wrinkled form a life long lack of nutrients, you'll have brittle bones - probably a hunch back from osteoporosis, your hair will be thinning and even balding, you'll look like you've had a hard, hard life...
On the other hand, if you jump back on the recovery pathway now, your body will thrive with all the healthy nutrients you give it. You'll age beautifully - your skin will be flexible and firm, your hair will shine and you'll look good for many years to come.
Bulimia not not steal your life - but it eventually steals your looks too.
There are so many reasons to persevere with recovery - you just need to figure them out and remind yourself of them all the time.
Once you have purged a meal you're supposed to have you are extremely vulnerable to binge... This is because your body feels 'short-changed' you need food... and so your body instructs you to eat... the eating then turns to binging. The best way to avoid binging is to eat your structured meals and work on keeping them down. Your body can handle food... Don't panic - distract yourself and do what you can to make sure you digest :)
I hope this helps Kaylee! keep up the great work!