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Shame in the city - Rita's Bulimia Story

by Rita
(Houston, Texas)

I wish I could say I have recovered but I am still in the trenches of bulimia.

The shame is eating away at me more than anything else at the moment. Right now I live in a foreign country and I stick out like a sore thumb.

I have to go grocery shopping nearly every day to provide for my nightly binge and purge session...

So I walk a long way to make sure that I'm going to a different store each day. If I go to the same store more than twice a week, I start making excuses to them like Oh, I'm making a cake, that's why I bought 3 gallons of milk this week. Or Oh, these are for my neighbors, they are having a party...

It's so ridiculous because they don't even speak my language. I am living a lie and must lie to cover up the lies and I feel so much shame about it.


Hi Rita,

I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling so low at the moment... I had bulimia for 10 years and can understand your shame. My bulimia also spiraled out of control when I left my home country to live overseas...

It's a coping mechanism, a way of dealing with stresses, fears, sadness.

You need to realize that you're going through a lot. You need to give yourself empathy... not criticism. Be kind to yourself...

If you don't mind, could I ask a few questions so that I can give you some advice...?

Firstly, why do you move to a different country - and is it essential that you stay there?

Secondly... When did you first become bulimic?

I would love to give you some advice but feel I need a little more info on your bulimia story before I can do that.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself.

All the love,

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program