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Self hatred

I remember when I had hope. I was THRILLED to start community college, grow up, get a job, move out, have my own career, etc... Until bulimia came into the picture. It ruined my life.
For the past year and a half, I have been withdrawing from the wold around me and diving deeper and deeper into depression. I hate myself. I have made countless stupid decisions and had countless problems. The people around me see me as the perfect smart girl who doesn't ever need any help. The people I love DEMAND things from me. They want help, a listening ear, money, rides to places, a shoulder to cry on....
Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe I NEED HELP TOO?????

I get no help from anyone, because people assume I have everything figured out. The truth is, I'm dying inside. I CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS!
I need to pick myself up from this and start over, but I don't have help from anyone. (So I'm really thankful for this site) I want to heal from bulimia.

But for now, and maybe forever, I am stuck in this mess of self hatred and depression. And I don't know what to do about it.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program