Scoping out the place
Hey, im a 27 year old female that has been bulimic since I was 16. I can remember the first time; I had drank too much the night before and ate a lovely fresh salad sandwich to cure my hangover. When I got home and help myself throw it up and the waste from the night before I felt refreshed and soo much better!
I laughed and said out loud (as a joke). "Ha! Ha! Your bulimic."
as the years passed the promises to myself became more frequent, the guilt worse and the bulimia so much more severe.
I will never stay more than an hour in a place if I am not comfortable enough to throw up. I wont work at any place that doesn't supply free food or gives enough time to eat and purge. Every single destination I go to I will plan (very quickly) what Is going to happen. Are we eating? If so what am I going to do? Do I eat lots and leave? Or a little amount and throw up there?
I have tried to get help many times and I live with my parents and partner now. Thy know I should not be left alone. I know I should not be left alone.
My biggest fear is that it might effect my chances of having children.
How is it that this bulimia is (for me) a way of forgetting and controlling something, when it 90% of the time has control over me!
I still aim to face bulimia head on and Tackle it with my family and friends.......
To be continued.....
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