I dont really know how to start this but my bulimia started not too long ago. I didnt even consider myself a "bulimic" until this week when I realized my b/p episodes were taking over my life. I would binge and then get invited to go places but have to say no because I had to stay home so I can purge.also my bestfriend (she knows obviously) is getting fed up with our sleepovers being me hiding in my closet vomiting.into a bag while she sits on my bed wasting her weekends. I'm going to lose all my friends if I dont stop this madness. I begin throwing up my food when I realized how much weight I put on after my boyfriend dumped me. Im 5'4" and before he dumped me I weighed about X. 2 months or so later after NONSTOP EVERYDAY binges I weighed about X. I never weighed that much and I was so uncomfortable. My brother struggles with bulimia and anorexia so I thought "well why not just throw up what you eat like he does until you get back to normal".... DUMB IDEA. Now my binges are worse than ever and my mouth always hurts and I did lose the weight I guess...im down to X but I look exactly the same but feel 100% WORSE and my body image has become 682538338% worse. I want to stop but now I know how hard stopping really is. When I binge its like something in me literally takes over. I would tell my mom so I can get help but it would break her heart since all her children seem to be on drugs or fighting an eating disorder. She even called me a "blessing" the other day...little does she know im.no better than her other kids. I honestly want to stop and im scared its gonna get worse. :(
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