Salmon and me
After many years of purging during my late teens/uni time my stomach just refused to bring up the food... I think actually my muscle had collapsed and just couldn't do it. So I had to think of something to help me feel sick... So I put raw salmon ( which I didn't like) on my forehead whilst throwing up to help me.. I am now 35, 2 children and I still around the time of my period have purging moments or if I'm very stressed, other than that I'm now much much better and appear quite 'normal'. I don't think it will ever leave me completely but it doesn't control my life anymore. I am also a vegetarian and I think this is the remainder of my issues with food... For some reason flesh has a negative effect on me when I think of eating it. I also remember a time I grew mould on a yogurt to help me get stomach poisoning ... I didn't thankfully eat the yogurt. I remember crying in heaps on the floor as I was so tired of bulimia and just wanted it to end.. I think I have certain sensory issues also as I get migraine and noise and light can affect me and make me sensitive to it. I am so ashamed of how this dominated my life and how it's a skeleton in my closet still poking me from time to time. We have to take each day as it comes, and I think my trigger is to keep serotin in levels balanced by getting enough sunlight and talking moments of calm and peace for myself. Stay strong it's a life long road we are on.
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