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Red eyes, milkshakes, and far bathrooms

by Stephanie
(Saginaw, MI)

I'm still in the midst of my bulemia and unfortunately, since I am semi recovered from anorexia and still slightly under weight my family is happy to see me eat and since they already know about my laxitives use its easy to get away after meals. Some things I've noticed is my runny nose and puffy eyes afterwards. I used to wait until one of my kids used the downstairs bathroom so I had an excuse to sneak upstairs. Now I don't even bother. When I know I'm going to be binging I tend to get a milkshake because it seems to help get the food up and is less harsh to vomit. I also hide a toothbrush in every bathroom so I can purge. And I eat a lot of jolly ranchers so you can't smell it. The toilets usually get pretty gross from it under the seat when we forget to clean what we can't see. And I usually hold the lever down to make sure all of the vomit is gone. I also don't eat until dinner and don't stop then until my husband gets in the shower so I can purge before bed. I hope this helps someone. I would hate for anyone to have a child go through this. I pray every day my kids never catch on or follow in my footsteps.

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