I had bulimia for 10 years. I never told anyone, although I'm sure some people must have figured it out as I ate like a horse and never put on weight.
My (now ex) boyfriend of 5 years never knew, or if he did he never said anything. It put a huge strain on our relationship as I was having to constantly lie to him.
When I went on holiday last year I pretended I was too ill to go out with my friends one day, and spent the day, alone, in my hotel room binging and purging.
I work shifts so if I got home late I would binge and purge till 4am and beyond. I existed on about 2 hours sleep most nights.
I spent money I didn't have on food. No matter how much I exercised I couldn't tone up my stomach as it was constantly being expanded to a very uncomfortable point. Sometimes after purging I would feel faint and my heart would be pounding like mad for ages. My breath always smelled awful, blood vessels in my face and eyes were constantly popping, I had huge bags under my eyes, I was always irritated and anxious and my face was incredibly swollen and it looked like I had a double chin. I also began to put on weight (which I hadn't known was common with bulimia).
When my boyfriend and I split last year I decided I was going to stop and I did. For a while. But I soon went back to mia. I don't think I gave up for the right reasons.
One day I was sitting in my room binging - on bread and butter. I realised I was putting my health in serious danger so I could eat BREAD AND BUTTER without guilt.
I didn't want to do it anymore. I told my family and house mates about my ED. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But the support I've received from them has been amazing.
Unfortunately my GP hasn't been so helpful. I've been on the 'waiting list' for help for the past 3 months. I decided to try and stop while waiting for that help.
I am now on day 50 of my recovery from bulimia :)
This site has been so incredibly helpful to me. The bulimia bloat was so tough, but has now started to subside. It was only thanks to this site that I knew it was a normal part of recovery. My face is almost unrecognisable (I never knew I had a jawline!). My mood is so much better and my skin is (almost) glowing. I still have a long way to go and it hasn't been easy, but man, do I feel better.
I just want to say that even though it's tough you CAN beat bulimia! Everything Shaye says is true :) The bloating DOES go and you DON'T put on loads of weight!
I'm looking forward to reaching my first year b/p free!
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