Your bulimia recovery
Tap here to read more about the bulimia recovery program

My online program and private recovery community has helped hundreds of women beat bulimia.
Click here to learn more

Beat bulimia using my online recovery program and private community. Hundreds of women who were just like you have done the same!

Click here to learn more Member Login

realizing.


(China)

ever since I can remember I was always skinny. I was actually REALLY skinny. as a kid I would be the one who looked like I was a sick kid with not enough to eat .

but that changed when I went to high school. my friends were almost all chubby and over wight and they would always complaint that they were fat and needed to lose weight . at the age of 15 I finally started to gain some weight and not be under weight but by the time I was 16 I was X kg and I felt fat . for the first time. my eyes looked more smaller and swollen (im Asian) then usual and my face was just.. fat and chubby to me thats when it hit me. I was fat .

now I know it sounds weird because X kg was nothing and I was just.. healthy but looking good and skinny was one of the top comments I always got in high school from my chubby friends and I didnt wanna lose that compliment. so I started to notice on what I eat and take control .

One day I realized that if I puke out what I ate .. it felt lighter and that I wasnt that "full and fat" ...

it started one a week and some times I would forget to puke and have gaps for months until I felt sick at fat and full again ..

now im 18 and high school is over.. Im puking more then EVER. few days ago i puked 4 times a day .. i wont stop until i had to cry my eyes out when i puke ...

its been a month or two since my family members notice me lose dramatic weight in the last two weeks and i still fell fat and ugly.. my bmi is X and my face still looks fat to me, tho i know my body looks skinny sick and thin .. to me my face is never skinny sick or thin enough...

i realized this is a problem ....


every time i eat i feel like... i gained X kg on my chin and face .. every morning when i wake up i feel like my eyes are swollen and my face looks chubby everyday .. even when i am Skinner then my 15 years old sister and completely FLAT on my chest area .. losing my face fat has got me crazy and i cant stop makeing myself puke every time I eat ..


its so bad that now even wen i want to stop purging, i puke in my mouth when i burp ( unintentionally) everytime i eat something .. even on my empty stomach ...

i try to eat normal and not binge but i cant help myself and my the end ov the day i feel so sick and fat that i have to urge and ... the next day i feel depressed for purging and looking chubby on my face.. again.. it has to stop .

its hard.. i cant control myself .

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bulimia Stories.

 

 

Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program