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Realisation and Recovery

by Charlotte

Shaye, your brave website is amazing. I have been bulimic for 12 years. I have lost teeth, had tens of fillings, root cannals and suffered heart palpitations and faints. I have spent so much money on food, been sick even before my prom, my GCSE exams,on lavish holidays with my boyfriend. I am amazed I have held down good jobs in a management capacity.
Reading your stories and experiences I realised I am not alone. I am not the only one who cant keep food down, throws up every meal and snack, misses trains to purge in the station toilets or blocks their parents entire drainage system.
I was a chubby child who loved food and could not stop eating. I hated sport and was always last picked in games lessons. I developed boobs early and was envious of my skinny blonde sisters body. I dieted and lost lots of weight in a healthy way at 13 but developed bulimia when a friend at school told me what she was doing to slim.
12 years of my life. I have been sick everywhere. Every meal I have eaten until recently.
I decided it was time to get better two weeks ago. Im worried about becoming fat and clothes not fitting. Equally I have seen my sister have a beautiful healthy baby and my dream is to be blessed with a child.
I was fainting more than normal, my eyes bloodshot and I had no money as usual. I would even eat chocolate or cakes in the toilet before throwing them up at work. I am a HR manager. I was not healthy and had become depressed. I thought there must be another way.
Im eating lots of fruit, veg and low fat dairy and protein. I hope one day I can eat a pizza or burger without vomiting. Im trying to think of my health and maybe one day a baby. Im 27. I try not to think of the teeth or money I have lost. Thank you Shaye and to all your contributors as your website and shared experiences have enabled my recovery. x

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program