Proud of myself - the strongest motivation.
Shaye...thank you. This blog allowed me to tell my story about a year ago and with your advice via emails to be patient and to love myself during my recovery I had a solid foundation on which to base my ongoing success.
I'm purge free for a month now...I do binge every now and again, but by allowing my body to adapt to eating normally, I now, after a year, have regained the "ability to feel full" and by allowing myself to eat whatever I wanted, I now naturally have "re-established" my own personal preferences and easily opt for the foods I know I'll enjoy which are, surprisingly, not all the unhealthy options I thought I would succumb to.
I also celebrated the one year return of my menstrual cycle and am now at a healthy weight. After gaining a few curves, the response about how good I look was overwhelming. There are days that I feel horribly fat but I remind myself that I have worked hard to get this far in my recovery, that I love myself and that my perception of my body is still skewed.
The energy I have regained makes me feel so alive. I'm thinking a lot clearer now that the thought of food can be suppressed when it seems that it might overwhelm me. I smile daily and feel joy in conducting even mundane tasks at work. All the advantages from my recovery up to now are motivating me to continue living a life as someone I can be proud of.
I did this for me and do not want to be at the mercy of my mind ever again. I am acutely aware of the fact that relapses happen, but it's reassuring to know that I can turn to this website if times drive me back to insanity.
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