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Pain

by Justin Hansel
(Columbus Ohio)

Hi my name is Justin I have been battling Bulimia since i was 18.

The shame and guilt that has come along with this disease is staggering. My story is not like most bulimics, you see i was a drug user long before i became bulimic. November 24,2004 i got real high on weed and had this bright idea. Since it was Thanksgiving and i was so so hungry (from the weed) why not purge the food i just ate with my family and eat some more. Brilliant. As my mother watched me in the following weeks she said "Justin you better stop doing that your going to turn bulimic". This made me laugh, i said "ya right only girls get that disorder". Well i couldn't have been more wrong. I found my self going to the bathroom after every meal. Even water was to much for me to hold down. I was hospitalized 25 times in the past 7 years for low potassium,low sodium,low gfr(kidney function) and once for a tear in my esophagus. This disorder made my depression worse and lead me to worse drugs, because of the intensity of my purging i started to have a lot of chest pain and back pain. So i started to take Vicodin and that stopped working so i went to Oxycontin. Now im here to tell you that when i was a young boy all i wanted to do when i grew up was be a chef. I never thought at 20 i would be an iv using bulimic who couldn't even get out of bed because i was so weak. This disease didn't just destroy my life but the lives of every one i came in contact with. My mother has taken care of me for years and my sister who is my best friend is so scared that im going to go to sleep and not wake up. I would be lying if i said im not scared of that my self. I am now 24 and am still a active bulimic, but i am in a long term treatment program for drug addicts and fighting to get my life back.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program