Only 10 days into bulimia
I'm 19, and I only been binging and purging for a week or so. I'm in the Navy in one of the toughest schools, and it just been stressing me out. One day I found myself grossly over regulation weight, and feeling disgusting. I found stretch marks that were never there before, and started a very strict diet. Around 800-1000 calories a day. Broken into 6 meals a day. All carbs were whole grains, or fruit. Mostly just lived off apples. I dropped weight pretty quickly until I plateaued. School also became more stressful, and I became more disgusted with myself day by day. One day I just couldn't take the strict diet anymore, I binged, then had that textbook "full, disgusted" feeling which brings on the most intense self loathing we all know and resent. I purged, I felt pathetic, yet figured it was the lesser of two evils.
I grew up in a very harsh environment, drugs, every type of abuse that ever could happen, happened to me. I hated thinking about my past, especially hearing other peoples story of why they joined. Compare to mine being either this or remain homeless. Everything just built up to this.
At first I was content to just give in, looking up pro-eating disorder web sites, that would lessen the damage of this highly self destructive behavior. Until I thought to myself, since when have I ever gave in. Now I'm deciding to nip this in the bud before I get too deep in. I never thought I would go down this road. Drugs, been there. Crime, done that. Eating disorder, not so much. Just though out of all the self destructive behaviors, this one probably wouldn't happen......wrong. At this point there no way and hell I'll tell anybody or seek professional help. I figured this would be my best bet.
Reading all these amazing stories of recovery really helps me maintain my decision to turn back from this road. Thank you for all those who shared them, it really helps me.
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