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one day at a time

by lorraine
(california)

Well it has been about a month and a half of trying and messing up about once a week and I have now made it one week with out throwing up!!!

I have found that with every binge purge slip up the bloating seemed to get worse the next time around, most likely due to my body starting to heal and me disallowing the process. I think that the best advice from all these posts which reminds me to keep it up is that the bloat is here now, it will pass and the more we press on the closer to freedom from bulimia we become.

It does suck that it is summer time and I'm horrified and unable to get myself to get in a swim suit, but next summer I will think back on this strong, new me and smile and be so proud.

Forgot to mention i am 23 and have been or rather WAS bulimic for 7 years I have tried before to stop, but have never been more determined and sick of the self abuse and negative energy that comes along with the disorder. In thinking of the future I do not want to have bulimia a part of any of it! Long walks with my ipod has been the best therapy for me, I have also taken a liking to tea, but the best help has actually been chewing gum. Maybe it's the nervous habit that it helps to sooth, but the constant chewing helps me.

I am blessed to have scrubs as my everyday attire at work and can easily hide the weight gain. The bloat really just BLOWS, but worse is the way I have treated myself prior. I am sorry to myself finally and a little bloat is just gonna have to be ok!

Haven't stepped on a scale and not planning on it, it just doesn't really mean a damn thing anymore. I hope the best to everyone and I thank you for your posts because they are so helpful and inspiring it's just cool to look at the old dates and hope that the year marker is achievable!

I'm done dreaming of a better life, you gotta make your own reality.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program