Oh Shaye....I think this is the most gross one....
I've been reading the thoughts of others who share this terrible disease. It's overwhelming to take it all in. I had to stop and walk away. It was just too much information and self awareness that I could take. The feelings of regret that if only I had done this twenty or thirty years ago, my life would have been different. I only wish the information and technology was available to me then. BUT....there is nothing I can do about it. I have to look forward. I can't change the past, but I can do something about the future. That's why after 42 yrs of bulimia I'm searching for the information on how to stop. Very fortunate that I came across your website. It's comforting to know that there are so many others that are suffering like myself and unfortunate for all of us.
I did want to share one of the terrible moments I had in the past with purging. I was about 19 and still living at home. My parents didn't know what to do with me, and this eating disorder. At the time, there wasn't any information about this, and it wasn't until I was 28 that I even knew it had a name!
We had an upstairs which is where my bedroom was but only one bathroom downstairs. Every time I flushed the toilet my parents would start in on how I need to be normal, on and on. The constant yakking drove me crazy. I finally started purging in empty milk cartons. That's when I read you purging into your chocolate milk carton amusing... that was me!
Well...there might have been a time where I couldn't find a milk carton but a large plastic garbage bag. Guess you can figure out what happens next. Walking down our carpeted steps the bag broke...throwup all over the steps and me. My mom came running into the hallway to see this. She was speechless (for once)...I just looked at her and through tears just kept saying I'm sorry.
The carpet was ripped out of the steps. My parents were elated when I moved out.
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