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Not even close to perfect

by Rach


7 lIttle letters we all strive to be.

But why? What's so great about perfection anyways?

Sure I might be the right body weight for my height but believe me nOthing about me is perfect.

I hate it wen people compare themselves to me. I can't stand it.

There is nothing perfect about shoving fOod in ur mOuth day in and day out just so I can shove my fIngers down my throat to get it all out.

There is nothing perfect about the fake smiles, or the lying, or the feeling I get in my stomach wen Ik what I'm doing is wrong.

Honestly how can people think I'm so perfect?! IM NOt

If people really knew what I'm feeling or doing, they wouldn't think this at ALL!

I have no self cOntrol. I can't stand who I am right now. That little vOice in my head is supposed to tell me from right and wrong, but somehow I don't hear it anymore

I feel myself slipping. I'm so moody lately it's not even funny. I get mad at myself so much and idk why. I tried making my bed this morning and simple things likethat I get mad at if I mess up.

My throat hurts. I think I got my eye infection from throwing up so much. I don't want to have to keep binging and purging, but what else am I to do shayne? I cant do this alOne anymore. I just can't. I'm only 13, is this how my life is gonna be forever?

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program