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Not a Bulimic but keep thinking about it

by Emma

I know this sounds really silly and to be honest it doesnt make sense even to me. But i find myself obsessing about my weight constantly. I have recently lost 4 stone, through being very healthy and excercising, I was a big girl, but im now a healthy weight. However I am still not happy, in fact I think im less happy then what I was before. Before I wouldn't care too much, thinking about my weight once a week and not being afriad to walk around the house in underwear, but now that ive seen the changes in my body I see were the fat is because im more conscious of it being there. I have become less confident as i have lost weight.

Furthermore my housemate recently lost a significant amount of weight as well. But she is ALWAYS talking about it. I think she is developing unhealty eating habits as well, for example only eating a bowl of cereal for the whole day. Shes not ashamed to admit it either. and when she talks about it it makes me more aware of my own weight and what im eating. she is skinnier than me and when she says she feels fat.. I feel like the defiantly of fat then.

I just feel so fat now and im ashamed to admit i came accross this website when i was looking for tips on how to be bullimic. I NEED to stop thinking like this its ruining my life and I dont want to start something that ill find hard to stop i.e bulimia. I just want to be as happy as I was before.


Shaye Says

Hi Emma,

I am SO glad that you came across my site! Trust me... Bulimia is the last thing you want to get into... It can literally suck years out of your life... I had bulimia for 10 years and I explain it as a dark veil that was put over my life. It changed the colour of everything... And, it changed the way I saw my body... Bulimia does nothing for self esteem - it makes you feel like you are hideous, through and through.

Bulimia also makes you obsessed with food. Completely consumed by it. Many people actually gain weight when they are become bulimic because they just can't stop eating. It's bizarre - and the obsession can happen so quickly!

In my honest opinion, I could consider moving out of your current living conditions. They are a breeding ground for eating disorders! You need to take care of your health - and if this means finding a healthy group of flat mates - who aren't over-thin and obsessed with their body image - then so be it. Do whatever it takes!

I'm glad that you wrote to me - and I hope that this piece of advice sticks in your mind and deters you from ever wanting to try bulimia.

All the best,

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program