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Never Ending Misery.....

by Nano

Hey Shaye...
Hey everyone...
It's been 10 years now being bulimic and anorexic...
At the begining it was only my stomach.. It used to hurt whenever or whatever I eat (psychological issues).. I started to throw up just to make the pain go away... Then I realised that it WORKS to loose weight (I was a little overweight) and you know how everyone is obsessed about being skinny specially when you are in your teenages...
I LOVED the idea of eating everything and the quantity I want...
Like everyone purging was once a day then COUNTLESS... the idea of (nothing should stay in your tummy for 10 mins max) was the only thing in my head...
I reached the worst levels of bulimia...
No need to tell you the ways i seeked for purging, it makes me more sick to remember...
When I am not bulimic I am anorexic... I stop eating for days specially when I am mad or upset then when I eat a bite of anything I feel like a monster who wants to eat everything... so sick I know... but out of control trust me...
I used to see blood... I have a HORRIBLE chest pain, my throat and tongue are in total mess.. irregular heart beats my hair falls down and my teeth, goshhh MY TEETH!! I guess in a couple of years I would put bench teeth...
Dying in the bathroom while purging is one of my worst fears.... feeling mentally disabled...
I have no one to tell my filthy secret to seek for an advise and there's no therapy clinics that I could go and ask for help...
I've tried million times to stop but all in vain...
It's so easy to torture yourself but so HARD to take care of it...
once I was free for a month and I was soooooooo pleased then I got back to my old shit again..
Bulimia is a REAL FREAKY NIGHTMARE.....

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of your-bulimia-recovery.com
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community


The Bulimia Recovery Program