this would be mee when i recover from this nigthmare
Im 16 years old, I probably started long ago to purge after eating a lot but since December of 2012 it got worse and worse. I normally resist to not eat when I am at parties but I am afraid to be alone in my house. My Mom got a job in the afternoons last month and with just my brother in the house the anxiety of eating became worse. I cried after I ate too much and tried to purge all out, but I cried more when I knew I didn't puke all out, the day after I will go to weight myself and realize that because of my binge eating I gained weight. Im obsessed with being fit, I lost X pounds last summer, I work hard for that and kill myself in the gym but the binge eating now is blowing everything away. I have to be fit, otherwise guys would not find me pretty and I am in track and cross country I cant be bulimic. I am really afraid of myself and being alone, it got to the point that even with my parents home I sneak food into my room eat it all and puke after. I really want to stop, I really need help, my Mom knows. I told her and she called the doctor for an appointment with a psychologist in April! but I am afraid to gain weight and that it would be too late by then. It really is a nightmare controlling my mind Im really scared!
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