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My Struggle

by Chloe


I've never spoken to anybody about this and I'm struggling t type this right now, I'm so scared of being judged.

I've struggled with an eating disorder for nearly 12 years. I am 19 now and in a relationship with a married man who says he will leave his wife for me, I love him.

He knows about my disorder. I binge and take laxatives to expell all that bad food. I do this with healthy meals like what my family prepare for dinner as well.

my partner suffers from depression having lost his dad and we're trying to create a plan to enable us to leave our families and be together, happily.

Recently I've been getting chronic chest pain and I don't want to stress nick out. My family think I'm better now and I dnt know what or how to deal with this while being strong for nick. I'm scared he's going to leave me in some attempt to protect me.

Please help me,

I know you must be disappointed in me but believe me nobody hates me the way I do. I'm curvy (size10 UK) and I feel huge compared to all see other women Nick could be with. I always fear my clothes hang badly and I look awful. I've gone months before having survived on tea and biscuits.

I need some advice

Thank you

Chloe x

Shaye Says

Hi Chloe,

I am sorry to hear what you are going through right now - I know how hard it can be to live with an eating disorder... The good news is, I promise you can overcome bulimia... You can be free gorgeous girl!

The first step, I believe for you, will be to work on your self love. Without self love, we are lost and we look to others to create happiness and fulfillment in our lives. When we do not love ourselves, life is hard... So hard.

I think that reading Louise hays book You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay will be amazingly helpful for you. But you need to want this - you need to want to get better and to love yourself. Make the commitment to yourself, because you deserve it, and read this book. It's just one little step, but it can be the first step towards a healthier and happier you.

If you are ready to make a big commitment to recovery, you could think about joining a recovery program. There are inpatient centers, or you could read up on the online Bulimia Recovery Program which I run.

Keep working on the belief that you deserve to do whatever it takes to get well Chloe. You are a precious human being and you deserve to love yourself and you deserve recovery.

Lots of love,

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program