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My mom knows.

by Valerie

Im 17 and I have been bulimic for a year now. My mom knew about this probably the last 3 months but never told me because she was to scared, until two weeks ago she confronted me. We had a long talk and we both cried and promised to work together for my recovery.
I could not do it. I wasn't strong enough, I binged and purged about 7 or 8 more times in those two weeks (way less times than I used to). My mom notices and confronted me again yesturday.
I am sacred, very very sacred. Im scared of not ever recovering, and living with these demons my whole life. Im scared no one will love me if I never learn to love myself. Im scared I wont be able to have children. Im scared to develop some disease and having to explain why I got it. Im scared I wont be able to play basketball as I used to. Im scared of recovering and getting fat. Im scared my thighs will touch again. Im scared to tell people about my struggle because I know they will never understand. Yes, I AM TERIFIED BUT I AM STRONGER NOW.
I dont know how I ended up like this. No one will have ever guessed I was this vulnerable. The girl people see is not the girl I really am.
Im not the same girl I was a year ago, Ive changed,and I will continue to change.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program