my life as a bulimic
I used to be a secure girl - I was confident and happy in my own skin until I went into highschool...
It was during the christmas holidays in yr 8 that I started to vomit my food, I think a number of things influenced me to do it, I can recall being teased by a family relative on several occasions about my weight, I remember feeling worthless and ugly every time she would tease me but instead of sticking up for myself I began to believe those things she ws saying...
As the years went by I became a prisoner to my bulimia, I couldn't go out with my friends to get something to eat becuse I didn't want to feel the urge to vomit, I stopped socialising because some days I would feel fatter and more disgusted with myself and felt as though I was not worth being in the presence of others...
I started to abuse drugs and laxatives to tried and become skinny but still every time I lost weight there was always another weight goal, nothing was ever good enough for me.
I have suffered from bulimia now for nearly 7 years its so sad hearing myself say that. I have tried to talk to a counsellor but I never continued the counseling - I think because I'm scared of what my life will be like once I give up my addiction. Gaining weight scares me so much.
I'm now 20 going onto 21 soon and I wanna make a change and change my eating habits but at the same time I fear change.. bulimia has already taken so much from me, I just dont want it to take all of me..
Thank you guys for allowing me to share my story this illness makes you feel so alone.
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