My Life and Bulimia
I'm 21 , I'm 5'6 and weigh 62 kgs... As a kid i was very thin but then when I was eight onwards I started gaining weight. Well I was always active and biking so I was plump at best but even that got me teased horribly and I would just want to fit in.
My father was in the army so every two years I'd have to go to a new school. In every school the process of trying to fit in got me to a point where I'd constantly feel uncomfortable. My teachers would scold me horribly and my class mates would rat me out. Im very intelligent but if i didnt like a teacher I wouldn't do well. S
So I reach high school and I'd just about had it. These bitchy girls who would pick on me. All the boys I liked didnt like me, because my emotional eating had made me about 75 kgs. My parents, teachers and classmates would all give me hell. I cant tell you how many nights I'd cried and cried asking god why I had it so bad. Self pity!
I tried a few botched suicide attempts... Then in high school I got into physical education as it was one of my electives. This made me run and play a lot of basketball and psychology which I'd taken up helped me not care about my old classmates... I finally made friends... Who are my best buds even today.
This is when my bulimia started.
I had to puke out all those chips, but i would still jog. My hair thinned out a little bit and I would learn that some foods come out easily while other don't. Some become acidic quickly and some take a while. I would make it a point to drink a glass or two with my food so it would come out easily ... The stodgier the food the more you have to stress your oesophagus.
My parents have known for years, even my roomates at college but somehow nobodys pushed me into therapy. I do think i need therapy...
I've lost weight men think im pretty but still i puke. I hope to quit soon because I dont want to be damaged. One should be in love with oneself not at war.
A response from Shaye
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I found it interesting, sad, inspirational all at the same time!
I am so glad that you finally made friends and they are still your best buds (I know how hard it is moving school - I did it once and it really broke me!) I would definitely recommend you try find a really good therapist. Don't wait for anybody else to push you to do it. It's really a decision we can only make ourselves.
I feel like you're ready to heal and I think with the right help you'll go from strength to strength.
All the love,
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