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My hidden addiction

When I was 18 years old, I always felt as though I was a big girl, even though both the scales and everyone else told me differently. Then I was able to join a gym on my own, and I began to go everyday. It was great at first, but then I felt as though I had to increase the amount I was doing, just to lose more weight. I kept going longer and longer, all, the time losing more and more weight. I began to restrict my diet to essentially breakfast, and maybe a piece of fruit if I felt like it. It got to the point where I couldn't find the energy to do anything but exercise. It had consumed my life. From there it only got worse. I began to take laxatives, sometime up to 30 in one sitting. It affected everything that I did. I could not work properly anymore, as every hour I would rush off to the bathroom. I felt sick, and bloated all the time. I couldn't stop though. This compulsion to exercise and lose weight, combined with using too many laxatives could kill me. Even now, being 19 I am still not over it. I have cut back on my exercise, but am still underweight. I haven't cut back on my laxatives though, and I know this is bad, but I cannot help myself. Deep down I want to gain back the weight I know I need to, and I'm in the process of finding someone who I can talk to. I urge those who are in the same situation as me to speak up, before its too late.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program