My bulimic effort
It all started when I was 13.
I began to keep a little food diary, looking back... I had an underweight BMI - but I decided to get healthy and thin. Fast forward 6 months and I had missed 8 periods, was covered in lanugo, distanced from my friends, ate nothing and starved myself to 45kg, which at 5' 7, caused my diagnosis to Anorexia.
Then one day I snapped and binged so much that my mum said I could tear my organs inside, I have been binging almost every day and have tried to throw up but it won't come out...
How is it so easy to throw up for everyone else? I'm 66kg now and am not happy at all with myself.
A RESPONSE FROM SHAYE
You poor thing - it sounds like you are having such a difficult time!
I know one thing for sure... That restricting your food severely can result in periods of massive binging
... and this is exactly what has happened to you. It happened to me too... so, I know how hard it is.
My advice to you right now is: DON'T TRY TO BE BULIMIC!!!
Trust me - it is a dangerous illness and once you start it is SO hard to stop.
66 kg's is a healthy weight for your height - but I understand that you would like to lose some. If you weighed in at 60... that would be healthy too. The best thing you could do right now is to talk to your mom about how you're feeling.
If she isn't understanding, or if you feel you can't talk to her... You should try visit a therapist.
I can't even explain how awful bulimia is. Some people think it seems like a good deal - you get to eat - but you can throw it up. What they don't know about bulimia is that no matter how much you eat you never feel like you have eaten enough.
Unless you spend you life with your head down the toilet - you WILL put on weight.
Anorexia is a horrible illness... But when I was anorexic I didn't feel the same IMMENSE SHAME that I felt when i was bulimic.
All I can say is DONT DO IT!Plus, bulimia makes you ugly - read how here.Take a breath before you eat anything.
Think "Am I hungry" "Why am I eating this?" Try figure out if you're eating for hunger or to block emotions you're having. If you're eating to block emotions... Go for a walk, try think about what you're blocking. Let yourself feel the emotions rather than push them away.
Let me know how you get along and if you have ANY questions - please ask - I am here to help!
Lots of love.
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