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My Bulimia

by Anna

My name is Anna and I'm sixteen. I've been battling bulimia since I was eight years old and I began the very earliest stages of puberty.

I grew up with certifiably profoundly gifted parents who were pushy about everything: My grades, my friends, my interests...and my body. I am also profoundly gifted but I want to have more of a life than just being successful as a politician and I go to an arts school, which my dad doesn't approve of. Both my parents are skinny with perfect, gracefully aging, lean bodies. My mother is an A cup and tall. I'm a C cup and short but still not fat, as I only weigh X lbs. I don't know if she was jealous of me or something, but ever since she realized I was curvier than her she has been nagging me about my looks and my grades even more.

When I was eight, my parents were nagging me about everything and I was looking at how all my cousins were skinny and I wasn't. I thought being skinnier would help me be more accepted so I became bulimic. I started doing it everyday and I felt calmer after, only to look in the mirror. My weight dropped X lbs in two years and I didn't view it as a bad thing anymore. I became so good at it I could do it in public and no one would notice at all. I started to look frail and weak, so I was taken to the doctor.

They gave me a long talk about the dangers of bulimia, but I didn't listen. Still, I didn't do it everyday anymore. I did it every few days or when my parents picked on me or I felt fat or ugly. I gained weight and while I didn't look horrible anymore but I still did it. I was thirteen at this time.

I'm an aspiring actress and I love what I do, but at the time I was very self-conscious and there was a judge theatre professor who used to be a model and critisized my body. This led to another time where I threw up at least once a day. It got to the point that when I was fifteen I passed out.

Now I'm sixteen and seeing a therapist. My parents are more understanding and it turned out that the teacher was considered abusive and was given a pink slip. But I still struggle with staying strong and I think I will for a long time.

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program