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My Bulimia Story

by Anonymous
(New York)

I had bulimia, and I started on January 4, 2013. I was already depressed because I used to cut myself before my bulimia started. Although its only been months, it feels like eternity.. I did it on a Friday, and each Friday night I have to go to church. There's this guy who I kinda liked, and he sometimes went to church. So I took a shower after dinner and before church. I looked in the mirror, and I had a horrifying image of a fat girl. I got desperate and desperate that the first thing that came in my mind was throwing up. I stuck my hand down my throat and started throwing up. I cried and cried but I didn't stop. I said the next time I'll stop. Then when I stuck my hands down my throat I said the same thing, and by looking back I can tell I did that 5 times. I quickly showered because by this time my parents would be wondering what I was doing. The next day I did the same. Sunday I did it worse. I threw up 10 times. I knew I would keep this secret and tell nobody. But on Monday I gave up. I told my friend, and she surprisingly understood. With her help I gained more faith. But then something came across me. I stopped eating, and it was shocking my parents wouldn't notice! One of my friends noticed and told me that if I knew I was anorexic. I couldn't believe I had a second eating disorder. I continued and basically told my friend everything in my life after trying to commit suicide. I looked for my moms sleeping pills and took something that looked like pills. But the next time I checked, they were my little brothers vitamins that don't harm you even if you take the whole thing. I stopped bulimia after listening songs like beauty from pain and courage. I saw that I wasn't the only one but I decided to stop. Later I told my parents. Then everything became better, all smiles. Until my friend gave me a black book yesterday. "my book with my feelings in it." she said. After reading it, I cried, and saw once again that our lives were similar in many ways...

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Article by Shaye Boddington
Author of
and creator of The Bulimia Recovery Program and Community

The Bulimia Recovery Program